Losing a baby is an unimaginable heartbreak, and the Rogers Hixon Ontario Human Milk Bank honours the depth of your grief. You are not alone.
Milk production after loss is a normal part of your body’s recovery after pregnancy. What you choose to do with that milk is entirely personal. Some parents decide to donate in their child’s memory, while others choose to reduce or stop their milk supply.
How milk donation can help
Many bereaved parents tell us that sharing their milk with hospitalized preterm infants gives them purpose and keeps their baby’s memory close. Others feel differently, and that’s okay — there is no right or wrong way to grieve.
We welcome donors who have experienced:
- Pregnancy loss (approximately 20 weeks or later)
- Stillbirth
- Loss after delivery
If becoming a donor feels right to you, please complete our donor screening form. All donors, including those who are bereaved, need to be screened and approved before they can donate.
Practical information
- After a loss at 20 weeks or later, those who choose to express their milk can expect milk production within three to four days after delivery
- If you were already pumping, your milk supply will continue until you choose to reduce it or stop
- You may be able to express milk for donation up to 18 months after delivery
There is no exact timeline for how long your body will keep making milk without regular expression. This can range from a few days to several weeks, depending on your situation.
Pumping guidelines and schedules
If you choose to establish or maintain a milk supply for donation:
- Begin pumping as soon as possible after your loss if you wish to donate
- Pump every three to four hours for 15 to 20 minutes from 6 a.m. to 12 p.m. to establish and maintain your milk supply
- If you are just starting to pump after your loss, it may take two to three weeks to reach the typical donation volume of five to 10 litres
How to suppress your milk supply
After a loss, some parents choose to suppress their milk supply to reduce physical discomfort, lessen emotional distress or avoid complications. No matter the reason, this choice is deeply personal and can be an important part of the healing process. Every grieving parent or family member copes in their own way, and each path is valid.
Bereaved parents can suppress their milk supply naturally by following these steps:
- Express milk only for comfort: Avoid fully emptying your breasts by expressing or pumping, as this can lead to more milk production
- Gradually increase the time between expressions: Longer intervals will allow your milk supply to decrease over time
- Wear a comfortable, supportive bra: Avoid binding, as this can be uncomfortable and may lead to blocked ducts or mastitis
- Use nursing pads: These can help absorb leaked milk, which is common during the suppression process
- Take warm showers: Allow leaking to occur naturally during showers without actively expressing
- Apply cold compresses or ice packs: Use cold packs for 10 to 20 minutes at a time, several times a day to ease swelling
Resources for bereaved families
Families coping with a loss can reach out to the organizations below for support, connection and assistance:
Bereaved Families of Ontario External Link
Bereavement Ontario Network External Link
Sunnybrook Pregnancy and Infant Loss Network External Link